The Alpha Bro Mega Dudes

Johnny Deuces Broloaf

Johnny Deuces – Guitars & Backing Vocals
Former child star who had a one-time guest appearance on the hit TV show, ALF, JD lost it all to online porn addiction, only to make a huge comeback all by the time he was 13. Now shredding without regard for personal safety in BroLoaf, Johnny Deuces enjoys guyliner, hairspray, and nailin’ young hotties.


Jean Paul Van Damn Broloaf

Jean Paul Van Damn – Drums
Three-time World surf champ and two-time downhill jam contest winner who had been kicked out of every reformatory school and military academy across the greater southwest region. After doing some time at San Quentin for felony misuse of a law enforcement vehicle, he joined up playing the drums with the rest of the dudes. He is also the owner of a winery in the hills of Patagonia, AZ


Bromeister Douchington III, Esquire BroLoaf

Bromeister Douchington III, Esquire – Chief Gynecologist & Vocals
Born on the beach in Jamaica, this rasta currently owns, operates, films and stars in his own line of adult films, Juggs n Drugs featuring barely legal girls and lots of cocaine. After winning the Masters several times he quietly retired from the world of professional golf, and as luck would have it ran into the rest of the bros at a keg party. After several nights of sin in las vegas, NV, JR joined the band with a mic in his hand to spread the Loaf across the land.


tRoy Broloaf

tRoy – Bass Guitar & Backing Vocals
Former bass player for “Asian Persuasion” and “The Mexican Connection” This latin grammy award winning superstar has wowed the crowds from Tokyo to Tijuana banging sluts and pounding brews along the way. After a frat party with the Alpha Bro Mega dudes, Roi was forced into captivity as the new bass player for BroLoaf.


Todd Thabodd Broloaf

Todd Thabodd – Guitars & Backing Vocals
Ex-New York Arm Wrestling Champion who was banned in Brooklyn for “excessive use of force with a fist” and “attempted manslaughter” and who was later acquitted for accusations of steroid use. After a storied career as a personal bodyguard for John Madden, he picked up his guitar and joined up with the dudes.


Ben Brah Broloaf

Ben Brah – Minister of Propaganda & Vocals
After winning the highly coveted “roid rage in the cage” heavyweight championship, BB was arrested for a number of serious charges including “possession of a dangerous drug with intent to overdose, excessive use of alcoholic beverages, stalking, and driving with a five-foot bong. now he spends his time getting laid, partying, and singing sweet jams about shit.